XWF Monday Night CarnageSeptember 17, 2001
Pyros go off like never before. The fireworks are red, white and blue. MICK FOLEY and JERRY "the KING" LAWLER are at ring side to call tonight's XWF action!
MICK: Hello ladies and gentlemen!
JERRY: Welcome to the second XWF Monday Night Carnage!
MICK: It has been a very stressful week for our country. Tuesday's events were acts of cowardice.
JERRY: I am still in shock.
(Then we here PRESIDENT BANDIT's music. He has a mic in his hand. He gets in the ring. He doesn't say anything. Then, out of nowhere, MUDVAYNE's "DIG" comes on. It's VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS!. He has a mic in his hand too! VP RIVERS gets in the ring. The two XWF EXECS look at each other in disgust, but remain calm, VP RIVERS then begins to speak…………)
VP RIVERS: I was in Tampa, Florida when these acts of cowardice occurred. In addition to missing my plane for the next XWF event, a hurricane came through Florida, and I don't mean a certain wannabe super hero from a second class federation!
(The crowd laughs.)
BANDIT: Although me and this man do not get along in business affairs, we are both AMERICANS!
(The crowd cheers!)
BANDIT: And the XWF superstars want to prove their patriotism, come on out boys!
(The XWF roster comes out with American flags in their hands. MR. BIG has a British flag and an American flag.)
VP RIVERS: So do my group of badasses!
(The nWo roster comes out.)
(The new ring announcer is HHH. He will be working in the XWF until his leg is better and he goes back to the WWF.)
HHH: Please rise for the pledge of allegiance and the American National Anthem.
(LILIAN GARCIA leads the crowd in both. Afterwards, the crowd is going nuts! U-S-A… U-S-A)
MICK: WOW!
JERRY: That was better than RAW!
MICK: SHHHH, you can't say that on XWF television, we'll be sued!
JERRY: No, um… I… ah… I meant my ass is sore. No…wait……
MICK: Its ok, Jerry. We know you and Vinny Mac are in love!
JERRY: Shut up, MICK!
MICK: Anyway, lets get to our matches. The latest match is our first match MIKEY GLYSTER vs. SILVER for the XWF HARDCORE TITLE.
JERRY: That's right, MICK. SILVER is the CHAMP and GLYSTER did so much impressive Sh!t talking this week, he seems to be a natural hardcore competitor!
MICK: The XWF EUROPEAN TITLE will be decided tonight as well!
JERRY: That's right. Its going to be a knockout ambulance match, you need to beat the crap out of your opponent and put him in the ambulance!
MICK: And BIG SEXY BADASS vs. SIC in a falls count anywhere match!
JERRY: I thought I ordered three jelly donuts!? Damn drive-thrus!
MICK: No wonder why your wife left ya for your pool boy!
JERRY: I can't swim!
MICK: Our main event is THE VOLT vs. CH3ZI. If CH3ZI wins, he will go up against MR. BIG at TRAUMA Thursday night for the Commissioner spot! If THE VOLT wins, he will be entered in the BAD BLOOD BATTLE ROYAL in our first ever XWF PPV!
(A clip of MONDAY NIGHT CARNAGE from last week is shown. The part focused on is the re-formation of the nWo.)
MICK: Here is our first match!
HHH: Our first contest is for the XWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP! Our first competitor is the XWF HARDCORE CHAMPION… SILVER!
(The fans cheers! SILVER gets in the ring and shows his belt to the crowd.)
HHH: And his challenger… MIKEY GLYSTER!
(GLYSTER makes his way to the ring with a cocky attitude. The fans boo, but he is looking good as he is in great shape!)
THE MATCH: GLYSTER take charge first with an arm lock. He tells the fans to shut up. They boo him. SILVER reverses the arm lock and throws GLYSTER into the ropes and clotheslines him. SILVER body slams GLYSTER. SILVER gets out of the ring and throws tables, and trash cans into the ring. SILVER gets back into the ring and picks up a trash can only to have GLYSTER kick it back into SILVER's face!
(The crowd goes OOOOOOW!)
THE MATCH: GLYSTER flexes his muscles and kicks SILVER while he's down. GLYSTER then puts a trash can on top of SILVER and goes to the top rope. He jump off a nails SILVER, but he hurt himself as well. The ref starts to count both men down, But GLYSTER gets back up and goes to grab SILVER by his hair.SILVER punches GLYSTER in his stomach and gets back up. SILVER then puts the other trash can on GLYSTER's head and does a kick that RVD would be envious of. SILVER then picks GLYSTER up and powerbombs him with the trash can still on! Then SILVER looks into the crowd and they go crazy. We all know what's coming up! Just at that moment, BADDASS SCOTT THOMAS runs into the ring. SILVER turns around at the two men look into each others eyes. BST starts talking Sh!t, and SILVER responds. While this is happening, MIKEY GLYSTER is setting up a table. BST then punches SILVER in the face and GLYSTER does a belly-to-back suplex to SILVER… right through the table! GLYSTER poses for a second a then covers SILVER for the 1-2-3.
HHH: The winner and NEW XWF HARDCORE CHAMPION… MIKEY GLYSTER!
(BADDASS SCOTT THOMAS then embraces MIKEY GLYSTER and gives him a black shirt. MIKEY puts it on. It has a nWo logo in yellow. GLYSTER puts the shirt on and seems to think he looks pimp in it. THOMAS and GLYSTER walk back to the backstage area, both men having a confident look on their faces, and GLYSTER wearing his belt. SILVER gets up and has a "OK, we'll see who gets the last laugh" type look on his face. He then walks to his dressing room. The fans cheer him as he is walking back to his locker room.)
MICK: MIKEY GLYSTER has joined the nWo!
(The camera switches to the nWo's dressing room. It has leather sofas, an entertainment system and lots of women. In the room are VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS, CH3ZI, BUBBA JONES, JACE LANCE, SIC, BADDASS SCOTT THOMAS, and MIKEY GLYSTER with his belt over his shoulder. GLYSTER also has two hot chicks on each shoulder!)
VP RIVERS: AHHHH! See boys, this is the life. This is what PRESIDENT BANDIT would AND COULD never give you. We now have a CHAMPION. MIKEY GLYSTER is the newest member of the nWo!
(The entire nWo claps)
VP RIVERS: I think BST and SIC will make fine TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. And we all know who the first XWF CHAMPION will be… CH3ZI! He has the look, the flare, the muscle, and the know how! I f I were a gambling man, my money would be on him! Now… I couldn't wrestle PRESIDENT BANDIT tonight because I am having back problems.
(You can hear the crowd go, BOOOOOOO!)
CH3ZI: Its OK, PREZ…………
(RIVERS smiles at CH3ZI calling him that)
CH3ZI: I'm gonna' ground out THE VOLT's ass tonight and bring the COMMISSIONERSHIP to the nWo!
(The nWo locker room claps again.)
VP RIVERS: I have faith in you, CHAMP, … faith.
(The camera then switches to an aerial view of the ring. It then goes back to the normal view of the ring as HHH begins to speak… )
HHH: Ladies and Gentlemen our next match is for one fall and the pin can occur anywhere in the arena! Now coming to the ring… BIG SEXY BADASS!
(BIG SEXY BADASS gets in the ring and has a determined, concentrated look on his face.)
HHH: And his opponent………
(HHH is interrupted by DISTURBED's "DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS"… )
HHH: He is a member of the nWo… SIC!
(SIC walks to the ring wearing a black and yellow nWo shirt. He has sunglasses on his face and he looks………well………like a smart-ass!)
THE MATCH: SIC tries to super-kick BSB, but BSB catches his foot and body slams SIC. SIC rolls out of the ring. BSB gets out of the ring, picks up SIC and starts to thump on his back. SIC staggers up the ramp and BSB follows him. SIC leads BSB to the main hallway backstage. SIC gets the upper hand on BSB and starts punching him in the face. SIC then does a killer super-kick to BSB' face. BSB has a busted nose and is laying on the floor! SIC then picks him up and bashes BSB's head into the WOMEN's RESTROOM door. SIC then gets a smirk on his face and throws BSB into the WOMEN's RESTROOM!
(The cameras are not permitted to go in there.)
THE MATCH: Four women come running out of the restroom screaming. About two minutes later, SIC staggers out of the restroom with a TOILET SEAT around his head. He wobbles around for a couple of second , then his eyes roll back into his head and then he collapses.
(The crowd laughs.)
THE MATCH: BIG SEXY BADASS then comes out with a TOILET LID in his hand and a hot women on his other shoulder. He drops the lid and the referee raises it.
HHH: The winner……BIG SEXY BADASS!
JERRY: Hey, MICK.
MICK: Yes, JERRY.
JERRY: Does BSB mean BIG SEXY BADASS or BACKSTREET BOY?
MICK: I don't know, JERRY. Maybe both.
JERRY: I'm personally prefer *Nsync!
MICK: And you wonder why your wife left you?
HHH: The next match is for the XWF EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP! Our first competitor, now making his way to the ring, he is a member of the nWo… BUBBA JONES!
(JONES has sunglasses on and a yellow and black nWo shirt on. He points to the shirt and keeps saying. "The XWF sucks!")
HHH: And our next opponent, making his way to the ring, NO|4N!
(NOL4N enters the ring.)
HHH: And our last compeditor……JAZZER!
(JAZZER walks to the ring slowly, stops in front of the ring, look around the arena, and then slides under the bottom rope and starts hitting NO|4N.)
THE MATCH: JAZZER and 4N go to work on each other. They both fall over the top rope and make their way up the ramp. BUBBA JONES just scratches his head and follows them. The cameras then pick up 4N and JAZZER fighting in the backstage area.
MICK: These guys truly HATE each other!
JERRY: The most intense HATRED the XWF has ever seen!
THE MATCH: 4N kicks JAZZER in the nuts and opens up the ambulance doors. Then, out of nowhere, BUBBA JONES comes running and charging right at 4N. 4N side steps JONES and throws BUBBA into the emergency vehicle. JAZZER then gets up and nails 4N in his face and shuts the ambulance doors. Then the ambulance starts up, its lights come on and the siren blares. The ambulance peels out.
(4N and JAZZER just stand there scratching their heads. The camera then switches back to the ring.)
HHH: Ladies and gentlemen, do to the ambulance being stolen… this match is a draw!
(4N and JAZZER look at each other and then start beating the hell out of each other. The crowd loves it.)
MICK: Who would steal an ambulance?
JERRY: Um……my son?
MICK: You can't swim, but your son can drive?
JERRY: Ok…we both can't do any of those things!
MICK: You are a sad little man.
(JERRY hangs his head and looks to be sad.)
MICK: Anyway, if these guys keep it going I see gold in there future!
HHH: Our next match is a TABLES, LADDERS, and CHAIRS match!
(The crowd goes nuts!)
HHH: Now making his way to the ring… THE VOLT!
(THE VOLT gets a good size pop from the crowd.)
HHH: And his opponent… CH3ZI!
(CH3ZI comes to the ring with VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS. CH3ZI has a $1,100 pair of sunglasses, a yellow and black nWo shirt and two hot ladies on each shoulder, he is pimpin'! Then PRESIDENT BANDIT's music hits. He walks to the ring wearing a referees' shirt. He gets in the ring and and grabs a mic. He begins to speak…………)
BANDIT: Unfortunately, MR. BIG was having problems with his shoulder, so I will be the referee!
(The crowd goes crazy!)
THE MATCH: CH3ZI takes control first. He knocks THE VOLT down and starts kicking him. CH3ZI then starts to choke VOLT with the ropes. BANDIT breaks the hold and CH3ZI gets into BANDITS face. VOLT gets up and delivers a spear to CH3ZI. VOLT picks CH3ZI up and power-slams him. THE VOLT then goes to the top turnbuckle and jumps, but CH3ZI puts his knees up. BANDIT starts to count the two men down, but VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS gets on the ring apron and starts to argue with PRESIDENT BANDIT. VOLT gets up and stands behind BANDIT to see whats going on. Just then, CH3ZI pulls a set of brass knuckles out of his trunks and nails THE VOLT with them. VP RIVERS gets down off of the ring apron and BANDIT turns back around to see CH3ZI covering THE VOLT. BANDIT has a confused look on his face, but does his job and counts, 1-2-3.
HHH: The winner… CH3ZI!
(VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS then gets in the ring and kicks BANDIT. CH3ZI pick him up and power bombs him. ALL OF A SUDDEN… The TitanTron comes on. The camera crew is in the hospital and a nurse is standing there facing the camera and you can see the back of a man's head. The nurse says, "Thank you. You are a pretty damn good EMT, Mr… um…Mr…um, what is your name? The man says, "Mr. is fine, all of my friends just call me Mr.")
NURSE: OK, Mr. The patient is having his appendix removed. Its a good thing you put a gag on him because he is going crazy!
EMT: Hey, no problem!
NURSE: He is doing OK, now. Would you like to see him?
EMT: SURE!
(The nurse pulls back a curtain and BUBBA JONES is in the hospital bed! The camera then switches back to the EMT really fast …and…ITS MR. BIG!)
MR. BIG: Hello, nWo! You guys think you're pretty clever, aye? Well, I'll be waiting for you, CH3ZI. I don't plan to lose my COMMISSIONER job at THURSDAY TRAUMA! Oh…and one more thing guy… look behind you!
(VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS and CH3ZI both turn around only to be speared by PRESIDENT BANDIT and THE VOLT. VP RIVERS and CH3ZI both roll out of the ring and stagger back to their dressing rooms. PRESIDENT BANDIT's music comes on as him and THE VOLT climb to the top turnbuckles. The camera fades to black as the crowd chants, U-S-A… U-S-A… )
[End of Show]
MICK: Hello ladies and gentlemen!
JERRY: Welcome to the second XWF Monday Night Carnage!
MICK: It has been a very stressful week for our country. Tuesday's events were acts of cowardice.
JERRY: I am still in shock.
(Then we here PRESIDENT BANDIT's music. He has a mic in his hand. He gets in the ring. He doesn't say anything. Then, out of nowhere, MUDVAYNE's "DIG" comes on. It's VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS!. He has a mic in his hand too! VP RIVERS gets in the ring. The two XWF EXECS look at each other in disgust, but remain calm, VP RIVERS then begins to speak…………)
VP RIVERS: I was in Tampa, Florida when these acts of cowardice occurred. In addition to missing my plane for the next XWF event, a hurricane came through Florida, and I don't mean a certain wannabe super hero from a second class federation!
(The crowd laughs.)
BANDIT: Although me and this man do not get along in business affairs, we are both AMERICANS!
(The crowd cheers!)
BANDIT: And the XWF superstars want to prove their patriotism, come on out boys!
(The XWF roster comes out with American flags in their hands. MR. BIG has a British flag and an American flag.)
VP RIVERS: So do my group of badasses!
(The nWo roster comes out.)
(The new ring announcer is HHH. He will be working in the XWF until his leg is better and he goes back to the WWF.)
HHH: Please rise for the pledge of allegiance and the American National Anthem.
(LILIAN GARCIA leads the crowd in both. Afterwards, the crowd is going nuts! U-S-A… U-S-A)
MICK: WOW!
JERRY: That was better than RAW!
MICK: SHHHH, you can't say that on XWF television, we'll be sued!
JERRY: No, um… I… ah… I meant my ass is sore. No…wait……
MICK: Its ok, Jerry. We know you and Vinny Mac are in love!
JERRY: Shut up, MICK!
MICK: Anyway, lets get to our matches. The latest match is our first match MIKEY GLYSTER vs. SILVER for the XWF HARDCORE TITLE.
JERRY: That's right, MICK. SILVER is the CHAMP and GLYSTER did so much impressive Sh!t talking this week, he seems to be a natural hardcore competitor!
MICK: The XWF EUROPEAN TITLE will be decided tonight as well!
JERRY: That's right. Its going to be a knockout ambulance match, you need to beat the crap out of your opponent and put him in the ambulance!
MICK: And BIG SEXY BADASS vs. SIC in a falls count anywhere match!
JERRY: I thought I ordered three jelly donuts!? Damn drive-thrus!
MICK: No wonder why your wife left ya for your pool boy!
JERRY: I can't swim!
MICK: Our main event is THE VOLT vs. CH3ZI. If CH3ZI wins, he will go up against MR. BIG at TRAUMA Thursday night for the Commissioner spot! If THE VOLT wins, he will be entered in the BAD BLOOD BATTLE ROYAL in our first ever XWF PPV!
(A clip of MONDAY NIGHT CARNAGE from last week is shown. The part focused on is the re-formation of the nWo.)
MICK: Here is our first match!
HHH: Our first contest is for the XWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP! Our first competitor is the XWF HARDCORE CHAMPION… SILVER!
(The fans cheers! SILVER gets in the ring and shows his belt to the crowd.)
HHH: And his challenger… MIKEY GLYSTER!
(GLYSTER makes his way to the ring with a cocky attitude. The fans boo, but he is looking good as he is in great shape!)
THE MATCH: GLYSTER take charge first with an arm lock. He tells the fans to shut up. They boo him. SILVER reverses the arm lock and throws GLYSTER into the ropes and clotheslines him. SILVER body slams GLYSTER. SILVER gets out of the ring and throws tables, and trash cans into the ring. SILVER gets back into the ring and picks up a trash can only to have GLYSTER kick it back into SILVER's face!
(The crowd goes OOOOOOW!)
THE MATCH: GLYSTER flexes his muscles and kicks SILVER while he's down. GLYSTER then puts a trash can on top of SILVER and goes to the top rope. He jump off a nails SILVER, but he hurt himself as well. The ref starts to count both men down, But GLYSTER gets back up and goes to grab SILVER by his hair.SILVER punches GLYSTER in his stomach and gets back up. SILVER then puts the other trash can on GLYSTER's head and does a kick that RVD would be envious of. SILVER then picks GLYSTER up and powerbombs him with the trash can still on! Then SILVER looks into the crowd and they go crazy. We all know what's coming up! Just at that moment, BADDASS SCOTT THOMAS runs into the ring. SILVER turns around at the two men look into each others eyes. BST starts talking Sh!t, and SILVER responds. While this is happening, MIKEY GLYSTER is setting up a table. BST then punches SILVER in the face and GLYSTER does a belly-to-back suplex to SILVER… right through the table! GLYSTER poses for a second a then covers SILVER for the 1-2-3.
HHH: The winner and NEW XWF HARDCORE CHAMPION… MIKEY GLYSTER!
(BADDASS SCOTT THOMAS then embraces MIKEY GLYSTER and gives him a black shirt. MIKEY puts it on. It has a nWo logo in yellow. GLYSTER puts the shirt on and seems to think he looks pimp in it. THOMAS and GLYSTER walk back to the backstage area, both men having a confident look on their faces, and GLYSTER wearing his belt. SILVER gets up and has a "OK, we'll see who gets the last laugh" type look on his face. He then walks to his dressing room. The fans cheer him as he is walking back to his locker room.)
MICK: MIKEY GLYSTER has joined the nWo!
(The camera switches to the nWo's dressing room. It has leather sofas, an entertainment system and lots of women. In the room are VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS, CH3ZI, BUBBA JONES, JACE LANCE, SIC, BADDASS SCOTT THOMAS, and MIKEY GLYSTER with his belt over his shoulder. GLYSTER also has two hot chicks on each shoulder!)
VP RIVERS: AHHHH! See boys, this is the life. This is what PRESIDENT BANDIT would AND COULD never give you. We now have a CHAMPION. MIKEY GLYSTER is the newest member of the nWo!
(The entire nWo claps)
VP RIVERS: I think BST and SIC will make fine TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. And we all know who the first XWF CHAMPION will be… CH3ZI! He has the look, the flare, the muscle, and the know how! I f I were a gambling man, my money would be on him! Now… I couldn't wrestle PRESIDENT BANDIT tonight because I am having back problems.
(You can hear the crowd go, BOOOOOOO!)
CH3ZI: Its OK, PREZ…………
(RIVERS smiles at CH3ZI calling him that)
CH3ZI: I'm gonna' ground out THE VOLT's ass tonight and bring the COMMISSIONERSHIP to the nWo!
(The nWo locker room claps again.)
VP RIVERS: I have faith in you, CHAMP, … faith.
(The camera then switches to an aerial view of the ring. It then goes back to the normal view of the ring as HHH begins to speak… )
HHH: Ladies and Gentlemen our next match is for one fall and the pin can occur anywhere in the arena! Now coming to the ring… BIG SEXY BADASS!
(BIG SEXY BADASS gets in the ring and has a determined, concentrated look on his face.)
HHH: And his opponent………
(HHH is interrupted by DISTURBED's "DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS"… )
HHH: He is a member of the nWo… SIC!
(SIC walks to the ring wearing a black and yellow nWo shirt. He has sunglasses on his face and he looks………well………like a smart-ass!)
THE MATCH: SIC tries to super-kick BSB, but BSB catches his foot and body slams SIC. SIC rolls out of the ring. BSB gets out of the ring, picks up SIC and starts to thump on his back. SIC staggers up the ramp and BSB follows him. SIC leads BSB to the main hallway backstage. SIC gets the upper hand on BSB and starts punching him in the face. SIC then does a killer super-kick to BSB' face. BSB has a busted nose and is laying on the floor! SIC then picks him up and bashes BSB's head into the WOMEN's RESTROOM door. SIC then gets a smirk on his face and throws BSB into the WOMEN's RESTROOM!
(The cameras are not permitted to go in there.)
THE MATCH: Four women come running out of the restroom screaming. About two minutes later, SIC staggers out of the restroom with a TOILET SEAT around his head. He wobbles around for a couple of second , then his eyes roll back into his head and then he collapses.
(The crowd laughs.)
THE MATCH: BIG SEXY BADASS then comes out with a TOILET LID in his hand and a hot women on his other shoulder. He drops the lid and the referee raises it.
HHH: The winner……BIG SEXY BADASS!
JERRY: Hey, MICK.
MICK: Yes, JERRY.
JERRY: Does BSB mean BIG SEXY BADASS or BACKSTREET BOY?
MICK: I don't know, JERRY. Maybe both.
JERRY: I'm personally prefer *Nsync!
MICK: And you wonder why your wife left you?
HHH: The next match is for the XWF EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP! Our first competitor, now making his way to the ring, he is a member of the nWo… BUBBA JONES!
(JONES has sunglasses on and a yellow and black nWo shirt on. He points to the shirt and keeps saying. "The XWF sucks!")
HHH: And our next opponent, making his way to the ring, NO|4N!
(NOL4N enters the ring.)
HHH: And our last compeditor……JAZZER!
(JAZZER walks to the ring slowly, stops in front of the ring, look around the arena, and then slides under the bottom rope and starts hitting NO|4N.)
THE MATCH: JAZZER and 4N go to work on each other. They both fall over the top rope and make their way up the ramp. BUBBA JONES just scratches his head and follows them. The cameras then pick up 4N and JAZZER fighting in the backstage area.
MICK: These guys truly HATE each other!
JERRY: The most intense HATRED the XWF has ever seen!
THE MATCH: 4N kicks JAZZER in the nuts and opens up the ambulance doors. Then, out of nowhere, BUBBA JONES comes running and charging right at 4N. 4N side steps JONES and throws BUBBA into the emergency vehicle. JAZZER then gets up and nails 4N in his face and shuts the ambulance doors. Then the ambulance starts up, its lights come on and the siren blares. The ambulance peels out.
(4N and JAZZER just stand there scratching their heads. The camera then switches back to the ring.)
HHH: Ladies and gentlemen, do to the ambulance being stolen… this match is a draw!
(4N and JAZZER look at each other and then start beating the hell out of each other. The crowd loves it.)
MICK: Who would steal an ambulance?
JERRY: Um……my son?
MICK: You can't swim, but your son can drive?
JERRY: Ok…we both can't do any of those things!
MICK: You are a sad little man.
(JERRY hangs his head and looks to be sad.)
MICK: Anyway, if these guys keep it going I see gold in there future!
HHH: Our next match is a TABLES, LADDERS, and CHAIRS match!
(The crowd goes nuts!)
HHH: Now making his way to the ring… THE VOLT!
(THE VOLT gets a good size pop from the crowd.)
HHH: And his opponent… CH3ZI!
(CH3ZI comes to the ring with VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS. CH3ZI has a $1,100 pair of sunglasses, a yellow and black nWo shirt and two hot ladies on each shoulder, he is pimpin'! Then PRESIDENT BANDIT's music hits. He walks to the ring wearing a referees' shirt. He gets in the ring and and grabs a mic. He begins to speak…………)
BANDIT: Unfortunately, MR. BIG was having problems with his shoulder, so I will be the referee!
(The crowd goes crazy!)
THE MATCH: CH3ZI takes control first. He knocks THE VOLT down and starts kicking him. CH3ZI then starts to choke VOLT with the ropes. BANDIT breaks the hold and CH3ZI gets into BANDITS face. VOLT gets up and delivers a spear to CH3ZI. VOLT picks CH3ZI up and power-slams him. THE VOLT then goes to the top turnbuckle and jumps, but CH3ZI puts his knees up. BANDIT starts to count the two men down, but VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS gets on the ring apron and starts to argue with PRESIDENT BANDIT. VOLT gets up and stands behind BANDIT to see whats going on. Just then, CH3ZI pulls a set of brass knuckles out of his trunks and nails THE VOLT with them. VP RIVERS gets down off of the ring apron and BANDIT turns back around to see CH3ZI covering THE VOLT. BANDIT has a confused look on his face, but does his job and counts, 1-2-3.
HHH: The winner… CH3ZI!
(VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS then gets in the ring and kicks BANDIT. CH3ZI pick him up and power bombs him. ALL OF A SUDDEN… The TitanTron comes on. The camera crew is in the hospital and a nurse is standing there facing the camera and you can see the back of a man's head. The nurse says, "Thank you. You are a pretty damn good EMT, Mr… um…Mr…um, what is your name? The man says, "Mr. is fine, all of my friends just call me Mr.")
NURSE: OK, Mr. The patient is having his appendix removed. Its a good thing you put a gag on him because he is going crazy!
EMT: Hey, no problem!
NURSE: He is doing OK, now. Would you like to see him?
EMT: SURE!
(The nurse pulls back a curtain and BUBBA JONES is in the hospital bed! The camera then switches back to the EMT really fast …and…ITS MR. BIG!)
MR. BIG: Hello, nWo! You guys think you're pretty clever, aye? Well, I'll be waiting for you, CH3ZI. I don't plan to lose my COMMISSIONER job at THURSDAY TRAUMA! Oh…and one more thing guy… look behind you!
(VICE PRESIDENT RIVERS and CH3ZI both turn around only to be speared by PRESIDENT BANDIT and THE VOLT. VP RIVERS and CH3ZI both roll out of the ring and stagger back to their dressing rooms. PRESIDENT BANDIT's music comes on as him and THE VOLT climb to the top turnbuckles. The camera fades to black as the crowd chants, U-S-A… U-S-A… )